You got number ah?

From the man who brought you the legendary "Samurai Defuse" and the epic "You play or I play!?"We present to you....



ONE MAN....

ONE GIRL....

FOUR WORDS.....

and

NO CHANCE....


Jimmy "FukaDa" Ng stars in.....

YOU GOT NUMBER AH?

The place : Station 1 Cafe Puchong

Five guys walk in and the following conversation takes place...

FukaDa : Wah that waitress girl quite hot hoHOHO *horny face*

Bal : call her here and ask her for number la i dare you

FukaDa : OK!OK! What you gonna give me if i get?? I got get before u know!

Bal : I will belanja u the whole bucket of beer

Kingz(from sarawak) : cuenasne saibgb stb lsnjdnaknd!<---sarawak language

FukaDa : OK OK U WAIT U WAIT!! HAHA! HAHA! FukaDa calls the waitress to the table (first attempt)

FukaDa : Eh miss can i have......

Everyone stares at him in anticipation

FukaDa : Some fries please! <--- pussy!! Bal : hahahaha wtf is that! potong stim sial!just so u know i'm not paying for those fries! FukaDa : ok ok this time i really ask!! u see u see! FukaDa calls the waitress to the table (attempt number two)

FukaDa : eh miss....

Girl : yes?

FukaDa stares down at the table .....tension fills the air....he looks left.....he looks right.....he looks at me....and I nod at him......do it!

He takes a deep breath and what was said next are the most epic words ever said by a man to pick up a woman

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EH MISS!! YOU GOT NUMBER AH!?

Followed by 5 seconds of awkward silence and incessant laughter.
You got number ah!? T-shirts coming soon.

Little Baskets of Evil

Last week, a pail claimed its latest victim,a 16 year-old girl was cut and scarred(possibly for life) after an accident involving a pail. Don't let its simple design fool you, these things were made to kill! When man first saw pail he thought hey cool its big and round and with a handle too! This will be perfect to fetch water and bring it back to my tribe!Little did he know...little did he fucking know...

My first encounter with a pail was years ago...by the end of it there was blood everywhere and I had to be rushed to the emergency room hanging on to life by a thread. It was a day like any other, I was about 4 or 6 innocent and oblivious to the horrors that were to follow.I was chasing around my mcdonalds balloon outside my house, on my own, because I didn't like to share. When suddenly, the flight path of my balloon shifted...towards a pail...

I ran and chased oblivious to the dangers ahead, when suddenly the pail, through its evil magic, conjured a puddle of water in my path which caused me to fall.My head hit the edge of the pail which caused it to split open.Blood splattered everywhere....it was like a scene from final destination.You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die?I swear that happened man!Of course I was only 4 or 6 at the time and it must have been one of the shortest life flashbacks....ever.

Soon I was rushed into the emergency room,where I can only assume I was allowed to jumped queue ahead of everyone else after the doctor had heard the words "pail attack".

Thankfully I survived the ordeal...I live to tell my story and possibly.... sue mcdonalds over the flight path of its balloons.Fast forward almost 20 years later and we're waiting to see what damage a pail has done to a cute little 16 year old girl's face. Will she grow up doomed to play gangster roles in movies thanks to the scars on her face? or the "Before" in the "Before and After" pictures on skincare products?One thing's for sure...her life will never be the same again.

Based on a true story.

Attempt number 3241

So after what must have been a million attempts (ok not a million but way too many) at attempting to blog, here i am again or should i say WE.....yeah i no longer fly solo.....joining me in my latest blogging crusade will be Bal, someone who i think is the real reason why Malaysia has this 1Malaysia concept in the first place and not the iPad (you wouldn't get this if you live under shell and refuse to read the newspapers...boo to you caveman/woman)..ok so why is Bal the epitome/definition of 1Malaysia cause his Bhai/Thai/Indian (when he wants to),Chinese (when he feels like it), orang asli (just because he was born in Sarawak) the only thing missing is him being a Malay heehee

Moving on, i'm in my last semester of Uni and will most likely be heading back to Malaysia towards the end of the year unless by some miracle, i am destined for greatness in Australia instead but at this moment i feel like heading home after a wonderful journey filled with wonderful people..but i mean there's just so much salt n pepper squid i can take...i want my nasi lemak NOW!!!

Ok..i think i should stop rambling about random stuff..i shall keep it for some other time...Catch ya later mate...

BHANGBHAIS!!!